Hey Reader,

I was asked an interesting question on our podcast this week.

How I manage my running obsession lifestyle with a partner who doesn’t run.

The listener who asked the question knew I run ultras.

They knew I have a young son and a wife who doesn’t run.

And they just wanted to know how I juggle that.

The first story that came to mind was this joke that does the rounds in the ultrarunning community.

It goes something like: “Honey, I’ve booked us a lovely family holiday to Chamonix in August”.

When what they actually mean is “I want to run UTMB, and I’m hoping nobody looks at the itinerary too closely…”

We laughed at that one.

But honestly, it’s true, isn’t it?

Most of us have done some version of this.

In the way most of us handle the things we want badly, but feel just a bit awkward about wanting them so badly.

💭 What I’ve actually figured out

I won’t say I manage it amazingly well all the time.

My wife knows how important running is to me.

I prioritize running as one of the ways I pursue excellence, set goals, and chase mastery.

It’s also good for my mental and physical health.

But I try not to let it take over all the time.

What that looks like is I can’t have too many races or too many activities.

And I know which activities to bring the family along for and which ones not to.

I know when to compromise on some long run Saturdays and cut my runs short.

As we’re getting ready to relocate to the UK, my wife is redoing the front garden.

She’ll put Henry to bed and go out with a headlamp to garden for another couple of hours.

Gardening doesn’t excite me, but I love that she’s got something she’s trying to create and cares about deeply.

So I’m trying to give her time and a break from kid duty so she can go and do a few hours of that.

Just like I might want to go and take a few hours to run on a Saturday morning.

Neither of us is pretending the other one’s thing doesn’t matter.

🎯 It’s not the passion or the people

The kind of people in your corner can handle your passion or ambition.

They’re not going to get mad because you run ultras, work on a big goal, or need some Saturday mornings for yourself.

What actually creates the tension is when you don’t communicate.

There’s a big difference between doing your thing without them having any idea and doing your thing while making them feel part of it, even loosely.

Think of it as picking your battles, knowing when to bring them in, and making sure it never feels one-sided.

So what’s something you love to do that your partner doesn’t?

Do they understand how important it is to you?

Do you know when to make them a part of it, and when not to?

How about when to compromise a little here and there?

Your passion can be very important to you, and still flexible enough to not always come first.

We got into this topic in this week’s episode, but we covered a lot more.

We talked about the influence of sport on unity.

Rugby as a unifying force in post-apartheid South Africa.

Rugby as a way of connecting with my dad, who, as a British man born just post-WWII, did not grow up sharing feelings and emotions, yet I was able to experience that with him through watching the highs and lows of Welsh rugby.

Plus other fun topics.

Worth a listen.

Ep 4. Race week update! Plus... Apr 14 · Two Average Runners 67:11   ​

With appreciation,

Huw

Huw Edwards Founder & CEO, h3.xyz​

Our next episode drops on Tuesday

You can get the link here so you don’t miss it next week.