The pebble in your shoe...

Hey Reader,

There’s this story Alice talked about in the first episode of our podcast that really stuck with me.

She has this client who has been doing a PhD for years alongside everything else he’s got going on.

And things are actually going well.

Like, genuinely well.

Then one day, he comes to her and says, “Yeah, I’ve been thinking maybe I should just stop the PhD. Maybe now is a good time to do something else instead.”

And Alice is sitting there thinking, wait, I’ve seen this before.

Not just with the PhD.

She knew this guy from a previous life, too.

Watched him walk away from a job just as things were about to tip in his favour.

Funny thing is, he’s not pulling back because things are falling apart.

He’s pulling back just when things are about to get real.

Alice calls it the pebble in your shoe.

It’s not necessarily a crisis, setback, catastrophe, or anything of that sort.

It’s just this small, persistent thing that we’ve learned to walk around with until it eventually wears a blister.

🧠 The subtle but sabotaged nature of the pebble

The thing about self-sabotage is that it doesn’t show up looking like self-sabotage.

It can look like a reasonable decision.

That urge to pull out, or slow down, can always appear clever at the time.

It will give you a perfectly logical reason to reconsider right now, of all times.

It can make you feel like pulling out early enough before shit hits the fan will protect you from your greatest fears.

But over time, it becomes a damning, limiting act that spirals into perceived underperformance.

When pressure, stress, or a fleeting moment of overwhelm sets in, your body tends to default to a pattern your mind already recognizes as something you’ll do.

Some go quiet.

Some withdraw.

Some go overboard.

Some go into full people-pleasing overdrive.

Doing everything for everyone until they’ve completely lost the thread of what they actually wanted in the first place.

🎯 Recognize your pebble

Left to Alice, she will run on a sore leg because the plan says run.

She needs someone to tell her to stop because she cannot tell herself.

I went all in on strength training a few months back without a coach.

I just decided that was the thing I needed to work on and went all in on it alone.

And I hurt my back within weeks.

I like to think this falls into the pebble of going overboard without knowing.

But all pebbles have the same fix in the end.

Someone who can see the thing you’re too close to see yourself.

A coach, a tribe that holds you accountable, a mastermind, or even a reset retreat.

Just be willing to acknowledge the pebble when you become aware of it.

That’s the only way you can be in control.

So…what’s the pebble in your shoe?

Alice and I talked about this and many other fun topics in our first podcast episode. I shared the link to the episode last week. I'll share it again if you haven't listened yet.