Where's line between healthy and unhealthy ambition?

Hey Reader,

We got a listener question on this week’s pod that I definitely knew I’d talk about.

It says: “You call yourselves two average runners, but you’re both clearly quite driven. Where’s the line for you between healthy ambition and it tipping into something that stops being fun? Asking because my partner thinks I’ve crossed it.”

My co-host picked on the wording a bit, and I quite agree with her.

It’s not really about fun, because a lot of it isn’t fun even when you’re still in the healthy ambition stage.

And when it’s unhealthy ambition, there are still things that can be fun.

The real distinction is the line between healthy ambition and unhealthy obsession.

And it got me thinking about the number of times I’ve crossed the line.

🧠 Tipping over to unhealthy obsession

High performers can have a resilient and sometimes obsessive nature when chasing goals.

We have the ability to push through when things get uncomfortable.

But there’s also a tipping point where that level of discipline can make you unable to take a rest day, or slow down, or just pause for a moment.

It’s almost like you get so attached to chasing that ambition that it numbs everything else.

We may sometimes forget to acknowledge the other beautiful things we’ve built.

The connections, relationships, community, other wins, and even our health. Yeah, crazy but true.

It also becomes the thing you talk about the most, taking up more space in your life beyond the hours spent working towards it.

There’s also the issue of getting worse at predicting how long things will take, so you’re half an hour late again and again.

And then there’s all the extra stuff we pile on, because we’re smart people who read, listen, and follow people who are ahead of us in our journey.

Interestingly, none of these signs may look like you’re crossing the line, but it’s only a matter of time if you’re not careful.

And just like that, one can quietly tip over to the obsessive, unhealthy side of a great ambition.

❤️ Where’s the line for you?

I imagine you can picture a couple of times you’ve tipped over.

You only learn where your line is by crossing it first.

It’s the idea of touching the stove: you go over, you feel it, you recognize it, and you adjust.

So when you catch it happening, you can ease off a little and carry on.

The big question is: can you be the person who puts in the work but doesn’t make a big deal about it and doesn’t let it affect everything?

When you loosen your grip on the outcome, you stay connected to everything else.

You get to rest without guilt.

You can let go of something without feeling like you’ve failed.

You’re still driven and still able to stay present for the other things that matter.

That’s a much better place to chase your ambition from.

So, what’s that thing you’re passionately chasing right now?

Do you think you’re now obsessed with it?

Can you rest without guilt?

Can you skip a day without feeling like you’ve totally failed at it?

Can you listen to a concern about that goal without being defensive?

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

Just stay honest with yourself.

You can still achieve your dream without losing other things that matter.

You’ve got this.

With appreciation,

Huw

P.S.: We got into all of this on this week’s pod.

We also got into another listener question about building grit at a later age if you didn’t grow up with parents who pushed you, and a lot more great stuff.

Catch the conversation here.