Hey Reader,
Ever notice how happiness shows up in the smallest, most random moments?
Like when you catch yourself laughing at something dumb and realize, for a split second, you’re not thinking about anything.
Then it’s gone.
Like most high achievers, you're probably thinking, “Why can’t this happy feeling last?”
People often feel stuck chasing happiness because they view it as something that should remain constant.
But happiness doesn’t work that way.
In today’s issue, we’ll explore the sporadic nature of happiness and how to experience a more enduring kind.
💭 “Happiness is like a butterfly…”
There’s a famous story about Nathaniel Hawthorne, the author of The Scarlet Letter.
He once wrote in his journal about watching his daughter chase butterflies in the garden.
She’d run after them barefoot through the grass, reaching, laughing, stumbling, almost catching one before it flew away.
Every time she got close, it slipped away.
She stopped and sat on the ground, sad and tired.
Then one circled and landed softly on her shoulder.
And her face lit up.
That moment became his metaphor for happiness.
Hawthorne wrote that down in his journal that night: “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it eludes you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and softly sits on your shoulder.”
I love this analogy.
It says so much about how happiness finds us doing things we love, but only when we stop gripping so tightly to the idea of finding it.
🧠 The happiness we want…
We all like to feel good and on top of things all the time.
It's a good thing.
But we think being happy all the time means everything’s working.
And that happiness we want is built on control over outcomes, emotions, people, and timing.
It’s impossible to be in control of all these.
It’s an unrealistic expectation for any human being, let alone a high performer like you running at full capacity.
The more you find it, the more drained you become.
So when life doesn’t go as planned, when you feel off, tired, sad, bored, or anxious, you think something’s wrong and start overanalyzing.
What’s wrong with me? I should be happier than this. I should have figured this out by now.
You start to question your choices, path, and even your success.
Constantly scanning for what’s missing so you can fill it up.
So you push harder, think more, do more, hoping that the next accomplishment will make you happy again.
But the more you chase that “always-on” version of happiness, the more anxious you start to feel.
Because you’re avoiding the full range of being human.
And it will cost you the very thing you’re chasing.
❤️ The happiness we get…
You don’t chase happiness, you create the conditions to attract it.
The goal was never to feel happy all the time. It’s to feel alive all the time.
When you feel alive, you’re engaged in the state of being so present in what matters; your values, purpose, priorities…
You’re doing meaningful work, building something that resonates deeply with you.
Leading people you care about, being in relationships that bring peace, or being of service in a way that makes you feel alive.
Then a more enduring kind of happiness shows up quietly as a byproduct.
It finds you while you’re busy doing what fulfills you.
You become emotionally flexible to experience a wide range of feelings and still show up for what matters.
You allow yourself to feel it all: the wins, doubts, fears, uncertainties, failures, and still stay locked in what you believe in.
You stop fighting your emotions and start listening to what it’s trying to teach you.
You feel an unshakable confidence that comes from knowing you’re living in your truth.
Creating space for a deeper kind of peace.
You’ll still have bad days. You’ll still lose your balance sometimes.
But you’ll feel a steady sense of contentment because you know it’s all part of the process.
🤲 How to live happier without chasing happiness
I spent years chasing happiness all the time until I realized it makes more sense when you embody things that naturally attract it.
I’ll share the 4 things I learned in my pursuit of happiness.
They'll help you savor happy moments and still live life to the fullest when you don't feel that happiness.
- Focus on living a good life. This is you being grounded in your values and clear about your priorities. It'll help you to be intentional with your decisions & actions. So your inner world matches your outer success. Life is a lot happier when who you are privately matches what you project publicly.
- Focus on living a full life. Be more present. Give yourself permission to experience joy, pain, failure, and everything fully. That’s life in its true entirety. Don’t try to shortchange yourself.
- Focus on living a textured life. Embrace the highs, lows, and everything in between as you chase more wins. This takes away the chase for perfection and unnecessary high expectations. You'll be at peace.
- Focus on fulfilling potential. Be open to the endless journey of self-discovery. Take on challenges, try new things, and take risks to expand into your full capacity, break past the limits of comfort, and become unstoppable and unfuckwithable even to yourself.
🎯 Choose wholeness, happiness is fleeting
When was the last time you felt completely at ease with where you are?
Not because everything is perfect, but because you stopped needing it to be.
What if you stopped trying to feel happiness and just let yourself attract it?
As Viktor Frankl once said, “Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.”
So savor happiness when it comes.
And don’t chase it when it fades away.
Just get back to creating the conditions to attract it.
With appreciation,
Huw
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Huw Edwards
Founder & CEO, h3.xyz
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