Hey Reader,
There are times when you’ve felt misunderstood.
One of the toughest things about this feeling is how much energy we spend trying to close the gap between our view and everyone else’s understanding of it.
But for how long?
What if you don’t necessarily have to explain your boundaries?
In today’s issue, we’ll explore the luxury of being misunderstood for a more fulfilling and happier life.
💭 He wrote music in complete silence
In 1824, Ludwig van Beethoven stood on stage at the premiere of his Ninth Symphony.
He conducted the orchestra with his arms sweeping and his body moving with every note.
When it ended, there was a standing ovation, rounds of applause, and people cheering.
But Beethoven didn’t turn around.
He kept his back to the crowd, still conducting a symphony that had already finished.
One of the soloists had to gently touch his arm and turn him to face the crowd.
That’s when he saw hundreds of people on their feet, handkerchiefs waving, and cheering expressions on their faces.
He had been completely deaf for years.
He couldn’t hear a single note of the symphony he had just written.
But he wrote it anyway.
Not everyone believed a deaf composer could produce a masterpiece.
But that didn’t stop him from doing it.
The Ninth Symphony is now considered one of the greatest pieces of music ever composed.
🧠 The pressure of needing to be understood
The higher you climb, the more isolated you may become.
You have way bigger, bolder, and even scarier visions now.
It may sound so crazy that you’re not able to share it easily.
It may also not be as complicated.
But some people around you aren’t standing where you’re standing, so they can’t understand the depth of what you’re doing.
That gap between what you see and what they can see can create pressure.
And it’s easy to find yourself over-explaining your decisions.
Looping people in too early.
Over-communicating your point of view to keep people comfortable.
And it works, kind of.
People may get to understand you, and you get to feel validated.
But it can rub off on you.
You’ll be spending a lot of energy, time, and even resources managing other people’s understanding of your vision, instead of focusing on executing it.
❤️ The price of thinking ahead
The most fulfilled leaders I know have made peace with the fact that not everyone will see what they see.
When you’re secure in your own conviction, you stop directing energy in all the wrong places.
You’re a lot more intentional with what you say and to whom.
You feel more grounded in who you are.
More honest in how you show up.
More at peace with the parts of your vision that can’t be explained.
You’re leading with more clarity.
You make decisions that get people uncomfortable, and you feel completely at home in them.
You have such great internal clarity and trust in what you do. External understanding becomes irrelevant.
You’re not trying to overexplain your values, boundaries, vision, or beliefs to anyone.
You’re attracting the few who understand how you feel and think.
You’re still open to healthy feedback without feeling uneasy around people who don’t get you.
You hold deeper, better, and more valuable conversations with like-minded people.
You‘re making bolder decisions and not compromising your standards to accommodate anyone.
Imagine the thrill of being fully, unapologetically you, even if not everyone gets it.
Talk about being unstoppable and unfuckwithable.
🤲 Make peace with being misunderstood
The need to be always understood is deeply human.
It’s okay to feel that way.
But at what cost?
So the next time you feel the pull to over-explain a decision, let any of these steps guide you:
- Get clear on the source. Before you feel the need to explain yourself, ask: Am I clarifying, or am I seeking validation? Clarity will serve others, but validation will drain you.
- Let the gap tell you something. Don’t be in haste to defend your view when the people around you don’t immediately understand a decision. Ask yourself if it’s showing you that you’ve outgrown that circle or level of conversation.
- Distinguish between feedback and friction. Not all pushback is misunderstanding. Some of it is valuable. Ask yourself: Am I hearing this because it’s true, or because it’s uncomfortable for them? You need to tell the difference between someone who sees something you don’t and someone who simply can’t see as far.
- Vet your inner circle. You can outgrow your tribe, people, and friends. Oh yes, you can. Find a new tribe, or people who can hold you accountable to your vision, even when they can’t fully see it yet. People who believe in your judgment even when they can’t fully follow your logic. You just need very few of them.
🎯 Stay legible to yourself
The funny thing is, the need to be understood doesn’t always have to do with the other person.
It can be about how well you believe in the vision yourself.
So what if being misunderstood simply means you’re thinking at a higher level?
What if the exhaustion you feel isn’t from the vision but from trying to make everyone understand, like, or support it?
The most extraordinary achievements are rarely understood at first.
And the greatest comebacks are the ones people never believed would happen.
So trust what you see.
And go all in.
The world will be fine.
As Steve Jobs once said: “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
You’ve got this.
With appreciation,
Huw.
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Huw Edwards
Founder & CEO, h3.xyz
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