Hey Reader,
There’s something elite performers experience as they become more successful.
At the beginning, everything is a choice.
Then the path, risks, decisions, and relationships slowly become the things they have to do.
Most people lose their grip on high performance because their success no longer reflects what they choose.
In today’s issue, we’ll explore the thin line between “I choose to” (ownership) and “I have to” (obligation).
💭 She walked away at 16
Alysa Liu just won Olympic gold.
At 13, she was the youngest U.S. national champion ever.
At 16, she finished 6th at the Olympics.
You could describe her as a prodigy.
But she admitted to being told what and when to eat, what to wear, when to train, what music to skate to…and all of that.
She lived alone at the Olympic Training Center, and she felt miserable being far from home.
So one day, she quit.
She went to Nepal.
She trekked to Everest Base Camp.
She got her driver’s license, dyed her hair, went to college, lived, and built a life that wasn’t about skating.
Then in early 2024, she went skiing and felt something she hadn’t felt in years. A rush of adrenaline.
Two weeks later, she stepped back onto the ice.
But this time, it was different.
She picked her music, designed her costumes, and controlled her training.
And then she won Olympic gold in February 2026, at 20.
She came back because she wanted to, and in her own terms.
She regained autonomy.
In her words: “Quitting was definitely, and still to this day, one of my best decisions ever.”
🧠 Watch out…It gets heavy
Let me paint you a picture.
A version of an elite performer from a few years ago who chose a path.
He chose the people around him, the goals, the vision, the places to be, the tribe to join, the meetings to attend, and more.
No trace of external pressure.
Then things got bigger.
Greater success, bigger wins, a higher level, more people watching, and a lot more expectations.
Everything he does now feels like an obligation.
To be at that place, show up for that person, sign that contract, and more.
There’s a deep-seated feeling of pressure to keep up, to stay put, to hang in there.
But what really happened is that somewhere in that growth, his days became more driven by expectations than desire.
Decisions seem to drag now, and there’s this craving for external validation.
He starts searching for happiness and a spark again.
He’s gradually losing freedom of his internal choices.
Not necessarily to a person.
Could be the company he built, the standard he set, or the image people now have of him.
He misses how he used to be in control, but he’s gone too far to find his way back.
So he keeps going until one day, he realizes he’s still leading something powerful.
But it doesn’t entirely feel like his anymore.
❤️ Make it a choice, and let it remain a choice
You can discipline your way through almost anything.
But you can hardly sustain a performance that’s not fueled from within.
There’s a quiet power in saying, “I want this,” and doing it.
When you’re actively living your choices, everything about your success reframes from “I have to” to “I choose to.”
You choose to take the risk, to make the sacrifices, to pursue the contract, or to chase the goal.
You’re not negotiating with yourself.
You’re not fantasizing about escape every time the pressure spikes.
You’re moving with the passion, spark, and conviction you had on day one.
Even better, since now it’s informed by experience over the years.
You become open to better decisions, more creativity, clarity, happiness, and greater fulfilment.
You’re not afraid to let go of commitments that no longer serve you.
The responsibilities, expectations, and standards are still there.
But you’re still at peace with everything you commit to.
Because you never let go of what it is you really want.
Not for once.
Not ever.
🤲 Don’t leave you behind
I’m not asking you to quit like Alysa Liu.
If you feel so much external pressure right now, pause and realign with your internal choices.
And if you already quit out of overwhelm, it’s okay.
Whatever it is, practising these 5 steps can help you find your spark again:
- Find it. Think back to the last few weeks. When did you feel most like yourself? Was it during a hard conversation? A creative session or a quiet moment? What do you wish you could go back to? What pulls you in when no one is watching? What’s that thing that casually comes to mind but makes your whole being light up? These are clues to find YOU again in your work and lifestyle.
- Love it. You know you love it if you can’t see yourself doing anything else. If that decision will still light you up in the coming years as much as it does now. If you’re not always burned out by it. If your mind remains clear and you’re not secretly wishing for an escape whenever you think about it.
- Choose it. You choose it if every plan around it is a personal choice. If you’re not feeling the slightest external pressure. If you’re completely at peace with the good, bad, and ugly days that come with it.
- Live it. You’re living it when you’re unashamedly exploring it. If you’re not afraid to fail and try again. If you’re not afraid to take risks. If you’re not afraid to leave your comfort zone. If you’re willing to embrace everything about it.
- Keep it. You’re keeping it if you’re not saying yes to the things, people, places, or relationships that will temporarily distract you. Offers that will steal your peace, or opportunities that will change it from your choice to your obligation.
🎯 What changes when you choose you again?
Look at the things you have going on around you.
If you had to choose your life again today, would you?
If no one expected this from you, would you still do it?
Autonomy is one of the most powerful drivers to sustain motivation.
And sustained motivation means sustained performance.
As Carl Jung said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
So choose to be yourself.
And go all the way.
With appreciation,
Huw
|
|
Huw Edwards
Founder & CEO, h3.xyz
|
